Dear Mama, don’t forget to dream. I get it. I know exactly what you’re going through probably a little too well and if you’ve read S.O.S than you already knew that. But I’m here to tell you, don’t forget to dream. I know that seems like a crazy concept. Especially when you’re eating rainbow colored bagels for breakfast even though you know they are probably one part away from being toxic, because your 5-year-old had a meltdown in Walmart and you were too tired to fight (this might be a true story).
I know that by then end of the day you barely have a minute to yourself and instead of celebrating how much crap you actually accomplished (like kept those tiny humans alive) you instead feel guilty because you didn’t read that last story or you lost your cool over the tossed plate of pasta or the Lego on the floor. I know that most days you feel like you’re a sinking ship and wonder how in the world you will do it all again tomorrow (but you do). And I know these days seem like forever but I promise you, they go by quickly.
In the midst of early mornings and late nights it can feel like a lifetime, but it’s not. And believe it or not, there will come a day when you long for a late night snuggle or a soft cry on your shoulder. We know it, but we really don’t. And it’s easy to think that we will forever be trapped in a world of sleepless nights or temper tantrums, but just like that they are grown. We celebrate the crawls and the walks and throw parties when we can finally toss out that freakin car seat. Kindergarten grads turn into over drawn grade 8 celebrations which quickly turn into proms. And I am worried that in the midst of it all you will lose yourself.
Since I started writing I have been more than ever, intentional about watching and thinking and learning about marriage and motherhood. It’s like all of a sudden, my eyes had opened and for the first time I was really seeing and appreciating all that Moms do. Not that I didn’t before, it’s just that now I have purposely taken my eyes off myself, and you know what, I am amazed.
I am amazed at all the women around me working around the clock, sacrificing every bit of themselves for their job, their marriage and their kids. I am amazed at the mother who worked a 12 hour shift and then came home and drove 3 kids to hockey. I am amazed at the stay at home mom that was up all night and still managed to take her baby to a music class and I am seriously amazed at how strong and how fierce we actually are. But what I have also noticed is that in all of that and through all of that, women are forgetting to dream. They are getting so lost in the day to day grind that they forget to stop and breathe and think for one second about what the future might hold for them.
Mama. Imagine if you can yourself in 20 years. Where are you? What are you doing? Who have you become? It seems like a long way away but guess what, Titanic was released 22 years ago and it seems like just yesterday my sister and I were lined up at Famous Players on $2 Tuesdays to see Leonardo DiCaprio die for the 15th time. My point is, blink and you’re there.
I love being a Mom, I think it’s one of the most important roles we have. Not only does it pull us apart and put us back together better, but we have a chance to mold these kids into world changing adults. Every little thing we do right now matters, and it will one day have a ripple effect on the world. So hear me when I say, I love being a mom. But just as important are the dreams placed deep within you. That thing that you know is a part of you, that calling that you just couldn’t shake but life and marriage and kids got in the way. The goals and the plans you made when you were little. Hold onto those things tighter than your purse on a New York subway. That is a fire that you don’t ever want to burn out.
What are you passionate about? What burns a fire in your belly? Forget about everything for one second. If money and time and kids, and obstacles, and people’s opinions didn’t matter, what would you be doing. Where would you be? Listen, I know how important these days are. I KNOW that every hug and snuggle matter. Every band aid and bedtime story matter. Every mundane and menial task matters. I know that even If you don’t. But this post isn’t about that. It’s about you. And I want you to know that your dreams matter too. You are still a person. You still have a purpose and I know it’s hard to believe but one day that little boy will be bigger than you and he won’t hold your hand anymore. One day that little girl will be free in the world and she won’t be home anymore. And when that happens who will you be? Lately I’ve been thinking about the women I hope my daughters will become. I want everything for them and I want them to be given every opportunity. And I think that starts with me. I want them to see that it’s possible to be an incredible mother and still maintain their dreams. I don’t want them to grow up and believe that they have to sacrifice or that their lives must be put on hold or that their dreams aren’t important enough to be pursued. And guess what. They will watch me. And they will do what I do. And so will yours.
Mama, I know that the most important work you will ever do is within the walls of your own home (thanks Harold Lee). But It’s easy to get lost in the motions and forget that you are a person and that yes you are a mama but you also have a dream.
Today, I challenge you to dig deep Mama. Write out your dreams and take steps to getting there. Maybe you have always wanted to be a chef? Take a class for fun. Maybe you’ve always dreamt of becoming a doctor but you had babies and med school is out of the picture. Take an online course that will give you one credit towards your future. Listen it’s not going to happen overnight. And it’s not lost on me that we are overworked and underpaid and underappreciated and under slept. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. We owe it to ourselves and our children to be the best version of ourselves possible. And I think that starts with a dream. You have a purpose and the world needs you to fulfill it. So dear mama, don’t forget to dream.
Laila