A few years ago Aaron and I started doing something a little non traditional and I honestly think if you tried it you would do it too. We really weren’t planning on doing it, it just sort of happened and I can honestly say we haven’t looked back. We’ve been doing a toy free, guilt free Christmas, and I have to say, WE LOVE it. And when I say we, I mean ALL of us. Kids and everything. I am so glad that we are doing it, that I just had to share. Now before you write me off and silently judge me for ruining my kids life, just hear me out.

Years ago we were just like most people. So caught up in stress and the chaos of Christmas that we barely even had a chance to see it and then it was gone. We spent so much time wondering what we were getting the kids, driving around like maniacs, trying to get our hands on a stupid rainbow loom because our 12 year old daughter JUST HAD to have one. Lining up at a Miko Toy warehouse like cattle being led to the slaughter. Only to wake up on boxing day with a whole lot of junk in the house that our kids don’t really need and probably won’t remember come next year. Exhausted and happy that it’s all over. It sounds crazy, but I know you know it’s true.

Like us, our kids have to much stuff. Like way to much stuff and honestly it makes me feel gross. We buy, gather, and collect because we think that it will make us (or them) happy. But it doesn’t. Maybe in the moment, but nothing kills the mood in a house like a pile of unused and unnecessary junk. And yet we keep it. And then next year we add to the pile. Marie Kondo would be so unimpressed. Year after year we would tell ourselves, next year will be different. And although our intentions were good, we always ended up in the same boat. Can you feel me?

Then something happened. We got tired. We got tired and unhappy and we didn’t like the example we were setting for our kids. We knew something had to change. So we decided we weren’t going to do it anymore. We weren’t’ going to buy into the craziness and we would test the waters and pray that our kids (and us) survived. And you know what? We didn’t just survive. We thrived!! Instead of giving gifts of toys and electronics, we gave an experience. One for each child, Mom and Dad too, all tied together over the holidays. And I can tell you that we’ve been doing it ever since.

Now I know what your thinking, “my kids would never be okay with that” or, “what would they play with on Christmas?” and of course,”It takes the fun out of Christmas.” I know everything you’re thinking because I thought it too. But can I tell you that I was wrong! Our kids actually love this tradition and love spending the time with us even more. And you know what else. They remember EVERY SINGLE TRIP. That’s right, if you ask them what they did for Christmas for the last 4 years they can tell you. In detail. Go ahead and ask your kids what they got 4 years ago and what are they doing with it now?

One year the whole family got tickets to the World Juniors in Buffalo. We stayed at the Indoor Fallsview Water Park and went to Cracker Barrel for lunch (that was for me clearly). We left a few days after Christmas and spent New Years Eve in the falls so Felicity could see her favorite concert while I slept in a hotel bed with room service. It was SO MUCH FUN! Another year we went down town Toronto for a little stay-cation with an indoor pool, and last year we went big and did a trip to Ohio/Florida and finished off with a cruise.  The kids got sunglasses and Royal Caribbean flip flops in their stocking and it was so much fun to see the running around going crazy with excitement.  Obviously every year can’t be like that but you get the idea. Our kids have come to love the idea of spending time together as a family, and so have I. We have made memories and built bonds and it feels good to know that we can still enjoy Christmas without having the pressure of purchasing elaborate gifts and junky toys. It feels good to know that the gifts we give have lasting effects on our family.

Our kids still get to open presents. I’d be lying if I said there were no gifts under the tree each year. But we have  just became strategic and intentional about it. Any tangible gifts would have to be practical or useful. A new hockey jersey if we were taking them to a game. A baseball bat or a gift certificate for an activity we think they would enjoy. We would even print off hotel pictures or logos of the activities we had planned and wrap them up. The year we went on a cruise, we left a envelope on the tree that said your gift is on the TV. When they ran over and turned it on it was playing a Royal Caribbean Adventure of the Seas promo. They freaked!

Guys, so many of us are missing the point of Christmas and I fear we are training our kids to do the same. What kind of examples and traditions are we passing down to them? We run around from house to house tired and exhausted because we feel guilty for not seeing absolutely everyone. Our kids are overloaded with gifts at each and every stop. And then we over spend to over compensate, trying to make sure our kids feel happy. And if we’re honest, I don’t think we really feel all that good about it. We are missing the point. We are missing an incredible opportunity to bond together as a family. And we are missing the chance to show our kids whats really important in life. And I’m just here to say, we don’t have to.

We don’t have to accept this as the norm anymore. We don’t have to go everywhere and see everyone and spend money on useless items because we think our kids will somehow be deprived if we don’t. Our family doesn’t and you know what? We couldn’t be happier. Our lives are crazy busy. With work and kids activities, responsibilities and other commitments,  spending quality time together as a family is becoming harder and harder to do these days. It constantly gets put on the back burner, and yet its one of the most important things we can do for ourselves and our children. I can tell you that family vacations and outings bring you together in a way like nothing else can. Memories and bonds are made that last a lifetime. My kids still talk about swimming in hotel pools and ordering Papa Johns pizza at 11 pm to this day.

Guys, wouldn’t it be nice to actually enjoying the holidays?  To only purchase what you could actually afford and not feel bad about it? Instead of running around and trying to figure out what i’m buying, then spending hours wrapping everything. I have the peace of knowing that we get to spend the holidays doing fun family activities together, uninterrupted and guilt free. I get to relax and get my festive cheese ball eating sweatshirt on while having lots and lots of red wine. Oh and then after all that ACTUALLY ENJOYING TIME WITH MY FAMILY! Yeah that’s right I said it.

Christmas is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. And I think we all do a great job of pretending that it is. But I bet if we took a second to really evaluate what we’re doing, we could all admit to buying things we didn’t need and running around to parties we didn’t enjoy only to impress people (and kids) who really shouldn’t care. But what if it actually could be the most wonderful time of the year? What would that look like for you? What if instead of toys and junk, chaos and stress, we were intentional about our gifts? What if we didn’t over book and over commit and actually enjoyed our time with our loved ones. Spend time together but if you can’t fit everyone in over Christmas without keeping your sanity, take turns. Aaron and I do one year with his family and the next year with mine. Of course we would LOVE to see everyone over the holidays but we have chosen quality over quantity and refuse to spend the holidays driving from one place to another, burning the candle at both ends.

And listen, toys are not bad. If that’s all you are hearing me say then you have completely missed the point. I’m not saying I will never buy a toy at Christmas again. Toys are not the problem. The problem comes when we overload and over spend on things that don’t add any value in our lives, or worse, do the opposite. The LAST THING our kids need is another IPad or video game that will only fuel their addiction to electronics. You can’t complain 11 months of the year that your kids won’t get off the iPad and then buy them the newest version for Christmas. Just sayin.

This Christmas choose quality over quantity. Choose to be intentional about your gifts and about the time you have. And most of all choose to enjoy your family and those delicious festive cheese balls because of course it’s the most wonderful time of the year.

Lots of Love,

Laila