S.O.S!!!

In the spirit of keeping it real with you I thought I’d write today on how much of a hot mess I am. Side note, it’s currently 3:53 pm (I like to call this time the witching hour in our house) and I’m hiding in a dark room listening to my 5 year old “make juice” for supper. If you already have kids then you know how bad this is and if you don’t than let me tell you, it’s bad. I just don’t have the energy today to stop him. I’m in over my head.

It probably started last night but it’s all kind of a blur right now. I went to visit a friends new place after dropping my teenage daughter off at dance. That was right after the big melt down she had because I wouldn’t allow her to hang out with friends later that evening since she had slept in and missed her early morning vocal class. Not the first time either. Of course it “wasn’t her fault”, it was “the alarm clocks fault” even though she never set the alarm clock…. And “I’m ruining her life for literally no reason” OK am I missing something here?? Anyway, on the way I decided to stop and grab some decaf tea for us. I usually always double check to make sure it’s actually decaf (yes I know I’m like 90 years old but I seriously can’t handle caffeine after 2 pm 😂)

You think I would’ve realized what I had done when I was lying there at 12 am WIDE AWAKE but I didn’t. Instead I did what any normal person does and started googling crazy things like sleep disorders and postpartum depression. By  1:30 am I  had diagnosed myself and was already spiraling out of control trying to figure out how I would run my life with such a disorder. I started having a complete mental breakdown and by 3:30 am as I watched my 7 month old sleep peacefully and I knew I was gonna pay the next day. I’m paying….

By  4:15 am I think I finally drifted off and snoozed my alarm at 7 am. I realized by 8 am that I had to have the kids to school by 8:15 am and be at the doctors by 9 am so that my 7 month old could get immunized (a month late, can you see a pattern here) and my 16 year old could get re-immunized because  she got her measles, mumps, and rubella shot 5 days to early 15 years ago and it doesn’t count.

I got the boys to school late. Cue Mom guilt now… spilled an entire coffee all over my car on the way because I insist on using my favorite travel mug even though I know it doesn’t fit my cup holder. It’s just so nice to drink from. I now have no coffee  and am running off of 4 hours of sleep. Did I mention I drove the entire way while breast pumping? Not one of my finest moments.

The house is a mess, my car is a mess, I’ve got 13 loads of laundry to do, and somewhere between this morning and now there have been multiple explosive baby poops and vomits. Did I mention I am dreading the fractions homework my 6th grader brought home that I already know I can’t do.

We’ve had two meltdowns one because we can’t eat Kit Kats for supper and the other because I’m looking at him funny. Oh and a baseball through the drywall. Would you believe me if I said I could go on.

It’s definitely been one of those days today and your probably wondering why I’m sharing this with you.

For starters I wanted this blog to be real. I didn’t just want to share with you perfect pages and happy posts. I wanted to share with you the good, the bad, and the ugly. This is the ugly.

Maybe your a seasoned Mom and this post is sounding all to familiar to you. Maybe your a new Mom and you’re wondering what you’ve got yourself into. And maybe your not a Mom yet but you want to be. If that’s you, don’t run! I promise you its worth it.

On days like to day I simply hang on for the ride and do the best I can until BEDTIME! I know that I will survive, that I will sleep, and that tomorrow will be better. Not every day is perfect. It never is. But I know for myself, I always find encouragement when I hear other women share the real stuff. I always feel slightly better when I hear another woman tell me they have a load of laundry in the washer that might have been there for a day or two!

Maybe I can’t sit down with you and share it all over a cup of coffee, but hopefully you take some comfort in knowing that there are other women out there who once in a while throw up their hands and need an S.O.S! Hopefully this site can be a place where you will find a community of women who “get it” and who will come along side you. You’re not alone here, take it from me!

Laila

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:21-23 NIV